Naqiah.

2009-12-10T14:45:00.003+08:00

HELLO!

i know i haven't been updating.

i feel like closing this blog already.

nothing in my life is interesting to blog about and share.

hehe.

currently, i'm trying my best to make every time possible for

just my family and anyone who is related to me.

where is my usual slashes? i don't know. ever since the break up,

things got really messed up and awkward sorta thing.

i'm always the left out one. now there's such things as

boys/girls outing. nonsense. they use to treat me the same.

gender wasn't an issue. NOW IT IS.

i'm sad because i feel like i was the cause of it.

you succeed if you were to play revenge, definitely

you win! it's okay. afterall, if the rest prefer you,

then let them be. i'm outttttttttt.

sometime i pity my friends for being the middle person

but they're 'so smart tak boleh carry' sometimes.

they just don't have some initiative. nevermind, someone

just have to make the sacrifice and i think, it will be me

since i'm the only woman down there.

the more i think, it will not make any good.

things will never be the same again.

i'm now busy with my intergrated haiku assignment.

it took me awhile to get the concept accepted.

finally it was, now i'm working on my digital storyboard.

damn damn so behind time eh!

so many works to do, dateline all due next week.

last week of school before 2 weeks break.

good day and tckr!

my birthday coming but i'm not looking forward for it at all.

damn 20 man, finally my time has come! hahahah.

2009-11-17T22:57:00.004+08:00

i have never had problems with the age gap i mix around with.

in fact, i'm glad that i know people of different age groups.

being old feels kinda sucks and good at times.

being young feels kinda sucks and good at times.

nevertheless, i have respected all individual as the way

it should be. i have never make an issue just because of

the age gap. i respected them equally and fair.

hey, naturally, we would respect the elder one right?

i just think, someone, who is definitely younger

than me is slowing stepping on my head just because

i was being nice/caring/coolest the whole time.

you were younger. so what? i still respected you,

i even look up to you if i'm having difficulty.

WHAT DID I GET IN RETURN?

zero respect, you ever dare to yelled at me.

you hurt me that make me cry.

that bad eh?

i keep sensing all the negative thoughts about you but i tried

my best to push aside that thoughts about you because i know

i got no right to judge you. really not good.

today, thank you for proving to me.

i am that upset that i had to cry.

why can't i deserve just a little respect?

so much to ask for or what?

2009-11-15T17:20:00.001+08:00

saw you from a far, my heart skip a beat.
i'm here, here, here and here :)

hey, i'm lazy to update my giler-babi already.
nothing exciting to update about. tkcr!

2009-11-10T18:51:00.002+08:00

i'm lost of words to say here.

i hate goodbyes and i hate seeing people go.

i can't stand the feeling of losing someone.

really, this is the first time i encounter

a lost from someone close to me.

he never fails to warn me about dieting.

he never fails to praise me and make me feel good.

he is sucha nice man who really can enlighten my mood.

at the very least, i manage to pay my respect to him

for the very last time just now.

rest in peace, apah moktar.

definitely a lost to our great jalan nenas family.

2009-11-09T17:28:00.003+08:00

my heart drop really.

i'm so sad like extremely okay.

i met with an accident yesterday.

the stress level my parents gave me was oh-geez unexplainable.

i cry to sleep. i was shocked, lost and traumatized again.

sigh. i wasn't feeling well today. i gave school a miss.

i wasn't in a mood at all.

while doing some work, my mother told me that

my grand uncle passed away.

how sad could i possibly get?

2009-11-08T00:40:00.004+08:00

bejeweled really is THAT addictive.

zomg ehhhhhh. it all started from my aunt

who is going HAJ in 2 weeks time. she got sore eyes

because of being so hooked. doctor even say that

prolly this is a test from god since she's going to perform HAJ.

you believe? i believe lehhhh. somehow somewhere. ha!

today evening, we had gathering for her prayers of safety?

hehe. after that, the whole lot of us, cousins were

taking turns to play bejeweled. limit to 5 times and exchange.

zomg la. hahahah. it was amazingly fun and exciting.

i can get angry when they disturb me. i need full concentration on this.

we were distracting each other, from black? perak? emas? ungu? jinga?

epok epok? mee rebus? heheheh!

i seriously didn't know what the hell was jinga

and perak. hahahaha! sorry i keling la.

when was the last time we had this? damn.

some match making stuff was going on :)

i'm really tired now.

goodnight.

no motivation to do homework at ALL.

2009-11-07T14:35:00.005+08:00

i think it's time to be a lil bit secretive.

to be invited, email please?

i'll be waiting.

2009-11-03T18:36:00.003+08:00

you said so much.

so much that i feel like i'm the only one to be blame.

just too much to suck everything in by myself.

you make everything sound so simple and easy

whereas it has never been. you said so much,

but you didn't mean every shit that you said.

why talk so much and why are you wasting

your time if you just wanna blabber rubbish into

my ears without even thinking about it in the first place?

go knock some sense to yourself and then we shall talk further.

irritating shadow who simply can't see me happy for a moment.

learn to appreciate, bitch.

2009-11-03T00:04:00.004+08:00

i know i may sound really dramatic because it's only the first day my sister is

gone for her OBS camp but i really really feel lonely. something missing.

4 lonely nights without you in bed. she will like get all cheeky, lovable and

horny before i go to bed. that's just her hobby to entertain me at night.

no point complaining eh? i still have to wait. i just miss her when

she's not around. contradicting much eh. she have never ever leave me

alone this long. i hope you coping well there you giant. hehe.

i will try to put myself to sleep. i got 8am class tomorrow.

zomg! zomg! sedih buluuuu.. hehe.

2009-11-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

i knew it this is coming today. i knew it i can't

do work when i'm at home. i tend to slack more

at home and in school. other people's house

is the best solution to get me going and do my stuff.

i really can't sketch out what i'm visualizing for

the interpretation of haiku poetry.

i have not start with intergrated and illustration :(

all i did today was play game. in the evening,

i went out to be a water girl for family

soccer training. the usual sunday.

okay back to weekdays tomorrow. BAHHH!!

IT'S NOVEMBER ALREADY, SCARY EH!

i wish to update about my 'matter of the heart' but then again i

really think this isn't the right place to jot down :)

2009-10-31T20:48:00.001+08:00

i'm now at nana achi's house. she's like not doing any productive work.

i am i am, at the very least i did. happy happy okay pek bems~~

baikk buluuuuuu. hahahah!

anyways, i feel like i'm having a long weekend. there's no lesson

on thursday because mr baba was on MC. friday? there was no lesson but

mr baba wants to know our idea for intergrated assignment.

i didn't turnnn up because i didn't have the idea yet :(

someone bastard my plans!!! and so, i met wankie and zul bulu.

i drove to ikea and we had dinner together.okay malas nak type.

now, i'm thinking about the 'seluar dalam' for my

digital imaging assignment. future world! wohoo.

i shall get going and continue with my work. takecare!

2009-10-29T00:24:00.003+08:00

i finally break down, i don't know.

i hate to carry so many things on my shoulder.

the more i think, the more i get tired.

i prefer to be alone and stare at my desktop.

tons of assignment now.

all the topic is becoming more complicated

and definitely deeper. haiku poetry?

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i can't even open my eyes for the whole lecture.

you shall see me sleeping most of the time.

i wake up, laugh and disturb the hell out of nana.

i really got no life. i'm not even motivated

to get my works done due to all the crazy

shits creative people around me.

that's life uh?

hey, i miss you.

2009-10-27T22:23:00.001+08:00

i smell future stress..

can't afford to get sick!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2009-10-24T22:54:00.003+08:00

hello.

so, 1 week of school has past.

there's already assignment but thank god,

the first week is abit slack because the briefs

for intergrated assignment is not out yet.

like totally cool for a week.

skip that topic alright.

i really hate to be a burden but i don't know

what to do to please people and make them shut up.

i don't want to force myself either. goshhhhhh.

i'm confuse myself.

i'll update again soon.

i need to sleep. i'm working tomorrow.

2009-10-22T23:59:00.002+08:00

doesn't mean i'm crazy, laughing, making a joke for everyone

to laugh, talking rubbish, a place to share joy and such stuff

makes me have no feelings to even feel for myself.

i'm just hiding it because i don't want to worry others

but i think i've been keeping it THAT long that i feel like

they're taking advantage of my plus point. sometimes i

just feel like moving away far away from this people.

maybe it's just me being paranoid.

my mood really went off to think about it.

goodnight and have a great weekend.

2009-10-20T23:01:00.003+08:00

the more i look at my current hair,

the more i feel indian like chop chilli chop

nandri ingerena indian. it's like really black blackiest and

it shines out. i'm having the shiniest hair of all laaa.

just left to plate it and put some olive oil.

i'm as good as an achi like nana. hahahahahahah.

i'm so proud now that my race is indian ehh.

i hope the plan to get my hair done tomorrow

jadi ehhhh. please ehh nana, don't ditch me

or else i won't talk to you for my ENTIRE LIFE.

hahahahahah.

goodnight.

2009-10-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

hello! hello! hello! how are you blog?

i'm doing fantastically great so far

minus some shits that actually happen.

life goes on ehhhhhhhhh.

anyways, school started today. i slept quite late last night,

i didn't want to turn up but then, i change my mind.

save it for the later days sounds good. hehe!

i was enjoying myself for the last few days of my holidays.

i came back after midnight for 3 days straight.

sunday, my workplace needed help and so, i work. heh.

it's only starting of the week but i'm already thinking

of friday saturday sunday. i got no lesson every friday.

if there is presentation, then it's presentation day.

pretty much the same like last semester.

then again.. what should i actually update now?

OH YA, i actually send an sms to a wrong number

who happens to be a bangla. he called when i was at

work that day, i and nurul were pretty much bored,

and so for entertainment purposes, i loudspeaker it and

entertain the damn bangla. hahahahah.

now, he can't stop calling me wanting to talk to me

and wants to meet me on his off day which is a sunday.

i can't stop laughing about it at the same time,

it really irritates the hell out of me. hahahahah!

i name myself as rani from jurong west, married with 5 kids.

he even dare to say he wants to have an affair with me

despite being married. hahahahahahah! mama gila!

okay i think i wanna hit the bed soon.

8am class tomorrow!

2009-10-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

i just feel good tonight.

can't help myself from thinking about you.

i youtube 40000 movie/songs that has you.

sakit laaaaa. hahahahah.

see this above. zomg feel like yummyummm

omg unexplainableeeeeee crazy shit you

shitttt face sooo goodlooking that i feel like

killing myself damnit! hahahahahah!

i need to get up early tomorrow for the plans

but now, i just can't stop myself from watching you.

heheheheh so fetish!

now i'm hoping that i won't be

working this weekend. last minute enjoyment

before school starts on monday. heh.

byebye. update again soon.

2009-10-12T01:45:00.004+08:00

more pictures at facebook.

hello guys. 1 week of excitement game over already. sigh.

i was out almost every single day this week.

friday, raya outing with my usual slashes gang

minus feeq bastard. manage to hit 8 houses till 1am with 2 cars!

no doubt, i had fun. a little bit weird here and there but yeah, can make it laaa.

so, wassup with indian matching clothing with me and imran?

had no choice, we had already plan it together before the break up.

so kesian lorrrrrrrrrrrrrr. the plan still on but you know.

i was call back to work on saturday and sunday. i was transfer to TKC

on saturday and back to JC on sunday. afterall, it's worth!

i had to ditch dan's open house on saturday, aku pembastard. oh well,

atleast i manage to make it up for it with dan and rasyid that night.

anyways, i really need the strength. strength of what?

i don't know. i just don't know anymore what the hell

to think. i'm so lost. god. the feeling is so annoying.

DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT EXACTLY TO SAY.

da la, i'm in the verge of breaking down AGAIN. oh dear.....

2009-10-09T00:38:00.002+08:00

i know this is some random thing to blog about

but hey, i don't care. just feel like it. hehe.

i was born in a family who loves marrying off their daughter/

grand -daughter when she reaches 20. easy to say, asap is good.

i got a grandmother (nani) who is like that, i see her almost

everyday. as you all know, i'm the FIRST grand daughter.

she care more for her grand daughter marriage then

her grand son who is much more older than myself.

YAYAYA BOYS. hahahahah.

she keeps emphasizing that i'm pretty day by day and it's

time to find one and get married. typically old school.

she just loves match making, it's in the blooddddd!

give me a break nani, i'm just about to turn 20.

i'm so freaked up to grow older laaaa. heheh.

why pester me this kind of things when my 'use to

be' partner have just run away from my life?

i'm not even close to my achievements yet :(

okay la happy happy.

i'm still shagged from the chalet.

grr. goodnight sleep tight!

2009-10-05T13:48:00.000+08:00

my open house the other day ended quite late,

almost to 3am. 5 to 7 cars got summon! haha.

sunday, i really trashed my bed till 3pm!

i woke up knowing that. ala. another visiting day. got ready

and pick my mum up at work then straight to visiting.

along the way, i manange to drop by zie's open house.

i then join my family back at hougang.

send dee home first, dan and rasyid then send me

to hougang. thank youuuuuuuuu.

i'm actually planning to catch 'funny people' today but

everyone seems busy. work school school work. grr.

tomorrow till thursday will be my class chalet

at sentosa. sleeping over? i shall think about it again. hehe.

friday, raya visiting with the usuals.

now, i'm really having a second thought to join.

it's so complicated laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

i'm just ashamed, scared and irritated for a fact that there will

be a disturbance.i shall see how. insyallah tak bastard. hehe.

so many plans for this week. pretty much excited!

good bye.

2009-10-04T00:10:00.005+08:00

i'm pissed right now.

i know my invitation to my open house was

a last minute thingy. i send my messages to all at

2pm and only 3 out 500000 million of them actually

respond via calling/sms.

i'm not expecting anyone to come because i know

it's really last minute but hey, why is so hard to

respond to one sms? i waited for response

but omg, in the end it pisses me off.

haiya.

thank you wankie and family.

she didn't respond me but she gave me

a suprise. she came with her family. hehe thank you.

all i want was to feed you people with delicious food

especially the ultimate addictive chicken wing!

2009-10-02T13:19:00.008+08:00

i don't want to think so much.

all i'm asking for was friendship.

nothing more than that.

why you make it so hard?

yes, time will heal the situation

but hey, i rather wait then to lose

a great friend like you. you were my

bestfriend before and i don't mind

in the future.

i hope you're coping well.

i ain't so mean. grr.

i hate to undergo the process

of adapting. hate it so much!

relationship is over but that doesn't mean friendship

has to. i shall see you soon. when? i don't know. all

depends on how long you could change all the mindset.

____________________________

i'm now actually waiting for them the ndp gang to reach here

to go raya visiting together. zomg so slowwwww laaaaa.

dragging the van per? heheheh. thank god my place is

the reporting place. so i must happy happy wait.

shuuu is going off to london/paris tonight.

i hope i would be able to make it to send you off.

have a safe journey to and fro! enjoy your holiday

and takecare! no doubt, i will miss you, misai sai sai. hehe.

ok i got to go now. i need the toilet!!

2009-10-01T00:23:00.004+08:00

actually, i wanted to blog about something.

a message that i receive this afternoon from

imran margera but then i think i shall skip that.

BACKSPACE BACKSPACE. i change my mind.

i'm sorry if it seems like i'm happy moving on.

I JUST HAVE TO STAND ON MY FEET BACK DAMN IT!

so, don't many many assume rubbish rubbish okeh.

it will take awhile for me to adapt to the changes.

_______

today, i met the usuals, zul nabiil and feeq

for movie and early dinner treat from me at pastamania.

at the end of the day, all i get was...hate to talk about it.

they make me so mad. SKIP LAAA! benci tau!

then i went raya visiting with family.

2 houses for today. visited 42 houses so far!

yes, my family is so on about raya visiting!

i shall chill myself and head to bed.

long day tomorrow, friday and weekends!

2009-09-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

i can't stop dreaming dream and just keep dreaming

but hey, dreams kept me going although it isn't so much

of a reality yet. for no reason, dreaming kept me smiling.

i had a tiring weekends but i love it.

love for a fact that i'm not thinking so much

about the past and whatever i'm not suppose

to think about already. i'm good.

busy busy weekdays with plans!

have a great weekkkkkkkk !